How do you listen and respond?
What “Listening to Understand” Looks Like
- Pay attention. When someone is talking to you, look at them.
- Listen with your body. Turn toward the person who is talking, lean in, and make them feel listened to because you really are listening.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Repeat what they said.
- Respond to what they said.
How do I accept feedback without getting defensive?
14 Ways to Accept Criticism Without Being Defensive
- Actively Listen. Active listening means that you’re really hearing the feedback rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.
- Ask Questions.
- Understand Why Feedback is Important.
- Take Note.
- Follow Up.
- Understand the Other Person’s Point of View.
- Get in front of it.
- Surround Yourself with Frank People.
How can I communicate without attacking?
3 Ways to Speak Up Without Starting a Fight
- Don’t assume you’ll be met with a negative response. Assuming that expressing your emotions will cause conflict is part of the problem.
- Use “I feel” statements without justifying them. Expressing emotions can make you feel vulnerable.
- Express what you want before what you don’t want.
How do you respond to criticisms?
Here are six ways to respond to criticism and maintain your self-respect:
- Listen before you speak.
- Ask questions.
- Focus on the facts.
- Communicate by phone or in-person to avoid miscommunication.
- Talk with another person to gain perspective.
- Reflect on the situation that led to the criticism.
What to say when someone tries to put you down?
“Can you tell me more what you mean…?” When you raise the energy of the situation by turning their put down into a positive, it’s very disarming to the person playing the “lowball.” For example, if someone interrupts or puts you down, you could say “Thanks for having so much passion about what I was saying.
How do you communicate without making someone defensive?
How can you help someone stop their defensive reactions?
- Refrain from reacting defensively.
- Shift your focus to the other person.
- Ask questions until you understand them.
- Move toward a resolution.
Why do people get defensive?
When someone is embarrassed by what another person says or does, they may respond defensively. Embarrassment often occurs because of incorrect beliefs someone may have about themselves such as worthlessness, fear of abandonment, failure, or scarcity of positives in their lives.
How can I listen without reacting?
Self-soothe to listen
- Write down what your partner says and any defensiveness you’re feeling. Dr.
- Be mindful of love and respect.
- Slow down and breathe.
- Hold on to yourself.
- Don’t take your partner’s complaint personally.
- Ask for a reframe.
- Push the pause button.
How do you thank someone for criticism?
- Thank you for caring enough to bring this matter to my attention.
- We thank you for taking the time and initiative to write.
- We appreciate your perspective on this important matter.
- I appreciate your interest in this matter.
- We appreciate your comments.
- Thanks again for your insights.
Why being defensive is bad?
Rather than preventing you from aggression or attack, defensive behaviors can create animosity or distrust towards you that may not have been there before. This can lead to a vicious cycle of defending, frustrating, guarding against future frustration, and causing more bad feelings.
What to say to someone who constantly puts you down?
How To Deal With People Who Put You Down
- Realize that their comments reflect on them, NOT you.
- Consider the counter-evidence.
- Put things firmly in perspective.
- Ask whether there was anything constructive in the put down.
- Don’t attack them in return.
- Laugh it off.
- Say thank you.
- Tell them how it makes you feel.
How can I listen without being defensive?
Use a talking-listening boundary
- “When I heard you say …” Repeat exactly what the person said to you.
- “What I thought about that is …” Now share your perceptions or interpretation of what you just heard.
- “And about that I feel …” Lastly, share your emotions on what he or she said and how it made you feel.
What happens when you ignore a narcissist?
Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you only encourages them to hoover. They know that you want respect, dignity, and love so they will exhibit behaviors that fool you into thinking they really have changed. But these behaviors are completely contrived to suck you back in like a Hoover vacuum.